My Journey into Motherhood: Encouragement from Nerida Walker

In 2011, I attended a mid week service at New Creation Church where Nerida Walker was preaching.

Hers is a  tremendously inspiring story of how God came through for her husband and her even though the doctors pronounced her husband as clinically sterile. I was very encouraged by her testimony and I've been following her on twitter since. A couple I know from church gave me her book "God's Plan for Pregnancy"and I was really blessed by it! The other book which I highly recommend is Jackie Mize's Supernatural Childbirth.

As I re-embark on my journey, I took this morning to encourage myself in the Word and used one of Nerida's blog posts to remember that God always comes through for His children. Her blog is called Faith & Fertility and it really encouraged me as I read about the promises of God in the bible and all the women who waited on the Lord for their baby. Check out her most recent post "Answers for Infertility".

I'm so glad that I didn't mope around this morning or watched TV. Instead, I found my faith renewed as I saw that I am not the first woman who is waiting on the Lord for a baby. And like the women in the bible, I will not be disappointed because our God is faithful.

Going through the bible and reading about these women, I learnt that these women were always loved by their husbands, their first born are always sons and their sons are always used mightily by God. These women all felt shame and disgrace when they could not conceive, but when God gave them a child, He exceeded all their expectations. You see, all they wanted was a baby, but God gave them a champion, called to do great things for His people (eg Joseph, Samuel and John).

My faith is renewed and my heart strengthened because there is not once where God did not come through. He is always a God that fulfils His promises.

If you'd like someone to pray for you with regards to having a baby, you should definitely watch this youtube video that Nerida posted. I just put a hand over my womb and as I played the video, I agreed with whatever that she was speaking forth. Hope this encourages you as much as it encouraged me.

My favourite verse out of all the verses she listed on her blog is:

 

You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table.

Psalm 128: 2 -3

My Journey into Motherhood: Dilatation

After the failed IUI procedure in July 2012, my doctor recommended that I undergo a dilatation as my cervix was too small (which was what the doctor who administered the HSG procedure told me as well) and hopefully the next round of IUI would be more successful.

My dilatation was scheduled on Day 8 of my cycle at 10.30am in the morning.

At 10.45am, I was injected with anti-nauseus/pain killer and told to rest.

At 11am, the doctor started the procedure which basically involved inserting a metal rod into my cervix and leaving it there for a while to enlarge my cervix. Before all that, there was the whole process of injecting a local anasthetic near my cervix and that was PAINFUL but it was quick (thanks to my very efficient doctor). After the injection, I was told to wait for the anasthetic to take effect.

About 15 minutes later, the doctor tried inserting the metal rod. Because I was under anasthesia, I hardly felt a thing. Although I felt no pain, my husband who was in the room with me told me (after the procedure was over) that there was a lot of blood. I think he nearly fainted...

After some effort, the doctor finally successfully inserted the metal rod and pronounced that my cervix was so small it was the size of a pinhole! Maybe the reason why its always easier to get pregnant after the first child is because the cervix has naturally enlarged and the passage way for the little guys has widened.

I rested for about half an hour with the rod inserted in my cervix before the doctor came and removed the rod. After which he said I can rest in the clinic for another 15 minutes. The entire procedure took about an hour and a half, including resting time.

After that I was spotting for the next 5 days but there was no pain. This was much easier than the HSG procedure!

The whole procedure cost us about USD$100.

We went for another round of IUI in September 2012 but it was again not successful. At the 2nd IUI attempt, my doctor prescribed a course of progesterone support which cost USD$150 for a box of 15 applicators. This is called the "pregnancy hormone"as it thickens and prepares the lining of the uterus which helps in the implantation of a fertilized egg. It's basically applied like a tampon applicator. Very easy and since the cost is relatively low (having paid a lot more for the entire IUI procedure), we felt that if it increases the chances of us getting pregnant, we were prepared to pay for it.

At that time, we already knew that we were coming to Melbourne so we've also informed my doctor who strongly recommended that we proceed to IVF in Melbourne. We decided then to take a break from it all and just settle into our new life before we consider our options. As mentioned, we've made an appointment to see a gynaecologist in Melbourne and we are looking forward to his recommendation.

Moving to Melbourne: Hello from the most liveable city in the world!

Around the time I wrote my last post, my husband received an unbelievable job offer in Australia and he was given the choice of moving to Sydney or Melbourne. Well, that was the easiest decision ever!

We lived in Melbourne about 10 years ago whilst in university; Melbourne was just voted the most liveable city IN THE WORLD and we've got a couple of friends in Melbourne who could help us settle in.

So about 2 months after the incredible offer came in, we found ourselves in Melbourne!!!

Moving countries is CRAZY. Within 6 weeks, I had to find a place to rent in Melbourne, negotiate with our then landlord about releasing us from our contract, quit my job, sell our car, cancel stuff, consolidate stuff, attend hundreds of farewell lunches/dinners and oh yeah... organize to ship all the stuff we've accumulated over 10 years!!!

It was madness. I hope to write a post about that someday so that if and when we move again, I can have a roadmap to follow.

After 5 months of absence from my blog, I came back and found that hundreds of people have dropped by to read about my journey into motherhood. My journey took a hiatus whilst we made the move to Melbourne but it's going to continue very soon. It was a good hiatus because it allowed me to live my life and not think about cycles, injections, clomid etc for a while.

I've just made an appointment to see a gynaecologist here and I've found out that fertility treatments here are heavily subsidised (much like all other treatments & medications) which is great especially since I'm offically a homemaker now. I'm excited to re-embark on my journey to motherhood!

Where would you like to live: Singapore or Australia?

Its a question I ask myself quite often nowadays, not just because I have a choice of living in these 2 countries, but because I've been feeling rather restless and tired of the fast paced life in Singapore.

I spent the majority of my life in Singapore and I only really lived in Australia for 4 years when I studied in Melbourne. But because my husband's family lives in Australia, I've spent almost all my holidays in the past 13 years there. I don't profess to know Australia like I know Singapore, but I know this much: I love the country and I can definitely see myself living there.

Every year, the Economist Intelligence Unit (EIU) publish their findings on the most liveable cities from a survey of 140 cities using a score of 1(intolerable) to 100 (ideal). The 5 main factors that they considered are: stability, health care, culture and environment, education, and infrastructure. Recently, they published their 2012 findings and the top ten cities are:

1. Melbourne, Australia (97.5)
2. Vienna, Austria (97.4)
3. Vancouver, Canada (97.3)
4. Toronto, Canada (97.2)
5. Calgary, Canada (96.6)
6. Sydney, Australia (96.1)
7. Helsinki, Finland (96.0)
8. Perth, Australia (95.9)
9. Adelaide, Australia (95.9)
10. Auckland, New Zealand (95.7)

Having witnessed for myself how great Australia is, I'm glad to see that 4 Australian cities made it to the top 10.

Here are some of my memories of Australia:

 

 

Love how beautiful God has made all things before He even made Adam. We were made to enjoy all these beauty!

My Journey into Motherhood: Super Ovulation + IUI

We laid off Clomid in June for the HSG procedure and we were a little hopeful to conceive naturally after that as we've read reports that the rate of conception increased in the 3 months after HSG.

However, that's not God's plan for us at that moment.

So we took the next step.

My gynae gave us some options regarding IUI which is essentially a procedure where sperm is inserted via a tube into the cervix so that the little guys are nearer the eggs. We felt this was the most natural procedure versus ICSI and IVF which requires the eggs to be extracted and some form of artificial fertilisation process. At this moment, we are not inclined to consider the other 2 options not just because it is CRAZY EXPENSIVE (at approximately US$12,000 per try) but because we just felt it was meddling too much with God's ways.

The 3 IUI options given are:

1. Natural IUI - to ovulate naturally whereby only 1 egg will be released, coupled with IUI
2. Clomid + IUI - to ovulate with the help of Clomid whereby 1-2 eggs will be released, coupled with IUI
3. Super Ovulation + IUI: to ovulate with the help of Clomid and 2 Gonal F injections whereby 2-3 eggs will be released, coupled with IUI

Weighing all things, we decided to go for the 3rd option as the chance of conception is the highest

I started my 5 day course of 50mg Clomid on Day 3 of my cycle and on Day 8, I had to go in to the clinic and check on the number & size of the follicles. I had 3 follicles in my left ovary and all was going according to plan :)

Next up:

This is basically to encourage the growth of the follicles to 18mm & above. The first jab was self administered at the clinic under the watchful eyes of the nurse. It hurt just a little when the needle went into the abdomen about an inch below the belly button. It hurt a little more when the solution was injected. Overall, it took less than 5 minutes for the injection.

I injected the 2nd dose myself in my bathroom on Day 10 of my cycle. Because of some fear, I felt the pain more intensely this time round.

I was supposed to go for a scan on Day 12 but as it fell on a Sunday, I went the following day. My 3 follicles were doing well and measured 16mm,18mm and 24mm. The gynae felt it was timely to perform the IUI the following day so he injected me with Pregnyl (5000IU) as my LH test was still negative that morning.

Day 14: IUI Day

Sperm sample was collected in the morning for washing.

About an hour later, the sample is ready to be inserted.

During the insertion, my gynae noticed that my cervix was too small and because of that the catheter could not be inserted inside the cervix so he just placed the sperm just outside my cervix. He advised that if we were not successful this time, he would have to do a cervix dilation the following month so that he could do a proper IUI.

The entire procedure was over in less than 10 minutes but I was told to rest there for as long as I wanted. In the end, I rested for a little over an hour before leaving the clinic.

Breakdown of the total cost:
Clomid (5 tabs): $14
2 Gonal F injections: US$166
Consultation:US$48
Pregnyl: US$70
Ultrasound:US$48
IUI: US$170
Total: US$516 (excluding the washing of sperm which was less than US$50)

After all is said & done, we put our hopes not on the procedure but on our unchanging Jesus.

For this is God, Our God forever and ever; He will be our guide Even to death.

Psalm 48:14

My Journey into Motherhood: HSG

We decided to go for the HSG test after 4 courses of Clomid as recommmended by the gynae.

HSG is short for Hysterosalpingogram and is "an x-ray of the uterus and fallopian tubes performed after the injection of a contrast material". According to the brochure, it is used to examine women who have trouble becoming pregnant. The procedure is usually performed during the "lull" period  after menses and before ovulation.

My HSG test was scheduled on 22 June morning (which was Day 10 of my cycle) and I was taken off Clomid for the month which according to my gynae, is bacause it is not safe to conceive in the same month as the procedure. I was told to take 2 panadols in the morning of the procedure just in case it was "a little painful".

While the brochure provided explained the procedure, unfortunately, it didn't explain the amount of pain and discomfort :(

The overall experience the radiologist was not what I expected.

First of all, when I got to the x-ray department and told them I'm on Day 10 of my cycle, the nurse said she had to check with the radiologist if I could still go ahead with the procedure as they normally do the test no later than Day 8 of a cycle. Ok, I understand that my gynaecologist & radiologist are not from the same clinic and unlikely to have a long drawn discussion about my case but I was not going to lose one whole month just because of a technicality!!! I assured the nurse that we have not tried for the month so it was very unlikely that I was pregnant. She went back to the radiologist with this information and I was given the go ahead!

I was put in a hospital gown and brought to an x-ray room. Then, I was made to lie down on a operating bed(??) and then... the nurses started having a discussion as to whether my blood pressure should be taken before & after the procedure or throughout the procedure. The senior nurse was very indignant and insisted "No, I'm very sure it is throughout the procedure. You weren't at the briefing this morning!".

After everything has been set up, the radiologist came in and was immediately impatient with the nurses and scolded them for attempting to measure my blood pressure throughout! He was very short with them and kept verbally abusing them whilst I was lying there.

For the first 10 minutes, he tried to insert the catheter up my cervix but had some difficulty as he realised that my cervix was too small. He then asked for a smaller catheter whilst biting the nurses' heads off.

Although he was seriously nasty to the nurses, he explained the above to me in a very nice doctor-ly manner. But all I can think of is "get the freaking speculum off me!!!".

So the nurse came back in 5 minutes with the smaller catheter and thank God it was successfully inserted this time!

And then the toture begins... he slowly inserted the water-soluble contrast material into my cervix and here, I cannot explain the immense discomfort except that it's not just painful but truly one of the worst things I ever felt. I can literally feel the liquid bloating me up inside and all the while I was so tired from lifting my legs up (there were no leg holders so I held up my legs for the whole time). I think I was close to fainting at this point.

The only good thing about a HSG is that the results are immediate. In fact, as I was lying there about to pass out, the good radiologist said "look at the screen... you can see the entire left ovary but the right ovary is missing". So I explained that it's not missing, it was removed when I had a growth on it when I was about 12. He made me turn to the left and right a few times to take the images but this part was relatively fast.

And then it was over! I was told to put on my clothes and take a rest in the waiting area and come back an hour later for the x-ray so I could bring it to my gynae. Immediately after the HSG, I had some slight spotting and then for the rest of the day, it was just some clear discharge which was probably the dye coming out.

The HSG procedure costs around US$210 which included the fees of the radiologist and the cost of the catheter.

My gynae took a look at the x-ray and declared that all was well and there are no blockages in my left ovary! YAY!

After lunch, I went home to take a nap but there was still some pain on the right side of my stomach so I tool 2 panadol, cried a little (not from the pain but from self-pity which was pain induced) and fell asleep. During dinner, there was still some mild discomfort so I went to bed early. Thankfully, I was back to normal the next day and the bleeding stopped :)

AFTER the procedure, I read a little about HSG and some websites claim that it boosts fertility for a few months as the "debris" collected over the years are "flushed out" by the contrast material. Some people claimed that they got pregnant within the same month or the following month after the procedure. I don't think there are any scientifically proven claims and if it proves the same for me, I'll post a blog about it!

I'm grateful that the HSG result is positive and that we can proceed to the next step - IUI.

Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.

Jeremiah 33:3

My Journey into Motherhood: Clomid

So after 8 months of trying to get pregnant, we finally decided to see a gynaecologist in January this year. I guess we postponed this partly due to fear of what we might find out and partly due to blind faith (I thought that going to the gynae might indicate that somehow I have less faith)!

Because of our age (my suspicion) or the fact that we have been trying for 8 months (likely) or our desperation (most definitely), the doctor started me on a course of clomid immediately.

Now we didn't know anything about Clomid or any fertility treatment because we never thought we would have to think or know about it.  So after the visit to the gynae, my husband had to find out more about what clomid is, how it works, the benefits and side effects.   

Now, don't be worried about the side effects because Jesus has redeemed all the side effects on the Cross of Calvary.

From what I learnt on the internet, Clomid is not actually a type of fertility treatment. It really only induces ovulation so that if you ovulate regularly (every month one egg is released), Clomid will simply increase the number of eggs produced to 2 - 3 (hence the chances of having twins increased). I find it the least invasive since it's taken orally during the first few days of your period and the rest is really "as per normal".  The doctor also made me do a LH test to determine my most fertile date (I've never done it before so you can imagine just how ignorant I was!!). Clomid is also relatively cheaper than the other procedures and it cost us only about US$28 for 10 tablets of 50mg. The consultation fee was more expensive at around US$50.  

Here are some write-ups on Clomid:

http://www.justmommies.com/articles/clomid-and-ovulation.shtml

http://infertility.about.com/od/clomid/tp/clomid_information.htm

http://www.babymed.com/tools/clomid-ovulation-calculator

http://www.amazingpregnancy.com/pregnancy-articles/268.html

All in, we tried 4 courses of Clomid over the next 4 months. The doctor actually advised us to go for Clomid for 3 months and if unsuccessful, to proceed to the next step of going through a HSG and thereafter an IUI (more on that later). Because I was not prepared to take the next step, we decided to go for the fourth course in May. The doctor prescribed 1 pill (50mg) a day for 5 days in the first course and he doubled it for the next 3 courses. I've read that some doctors put their patients on Clomid for 6 months to a year but that's obviously not what my doctor had planned for me.  

Unfortunately, we were still not successful so we decided to take the doctor's advice and proceeded to the next step.

During this time I did go for some tests and checkups and praise God, the reports all came back good. There was a period of waiting for the test results to come back and during this time, we just kept partaking of the Holy Communion and clung on to His Word:

 Isaiah 53:4-5

Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.

But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

And His Word proved true. It always does.