Sunday, July 29, 2012

My Journey into Motherhood: Clomid

So after 8 months of trying to get pregnant, we finally decided to see a gynaecologist in January this year. I guess we postponed this partly due to fear of what we might find out and partly due to blind faith (I thought that going to the gynae might indicate that somehow I have less faith)!

Because of our age (my suspicion) or the fact that we have been trying for 8 months (likely) or our desperation (most definitely), the doctor started me on a course of clomid immediately.

Now we didn't know anything about Clomid or any fertility treatment because we never thought we would have to think or know about it.  So after the visit to the gynae, my husband had to find out more about what clomid is, how it works, the benefits and side effects.   

Now, don't be worried about the side effects because Jesus has redeemed all the side effects on the Cross of Calvary.

From what I learnt on the internet, Clomid is not actually a type of fertility treatment. It really only induces ovulation so that if you ovulate regularly (every month one egg is released), Clomid will simply increase the number of eggs produced to 2 - 3 (hence the chances of having twins increased). I find it the least invasive since it's taken orally during the first few days of your period and the rest is really "as per normal".  The doctor also made me do a LH test to determine my most fertile date (I've never done it before so you can imagine just how ignorant I was!!). Clomid is also relatively cheaper than the other procedures and it cost us only about US$28 for 10 tablets of 50mg. The consultation fee was more expensive at around US$50.  

Here are some write-ups on Clomid:

All in, we tried 4 courses of Clomid over the next 4 months. The doctor actually advised us to go for Clomid for 3 months and if unsuccessful, to proceed to the next step of going through a HSG and thereafter an IUI (more on that later). Because I was not prepared to take the next step, we decided to go for the fourth course in May. The doctor prescribed 1 pill (50mg) a day for 5 days in the first course and he doubled it for the next 3 courses. I've read that some doctors put their patients on Clomid for 6 months to a year but that's obviously not what my doctor had planned for me.  

Unfortunately, we were still not successful so we decided to take the doctor's advice and proceeded to the next step.

During this time I did go for some tests and checkups and praise God, the reports all came back good. There was a period of waiting for the test results to come back and during this time, we just kept partaking of the Holy Communion and clung on to His Word:

 Isaiah 53:4-5
Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.


And His Word proved true. It always does.

My Journey into Motherhood: Guilt, Condemnation & Fear

My husband and I have been trying for a baby since May 2011. We were married in 2007 but had no serious desire to have children for several years as we were focused on building our careers, saving money and travelling. For 4 years, we put our plans to have children on hold whilst we pursued what we thought could bring us happiness. We were wrong.  

I was naive to think that I could get pregnant the very first time we tried (I thought I was full of faith...)! So you can imagine my utter horror and deep disappointment when I didn't. The feeling was compounded month after month. And then the desire to have a baby became a sort of desperation. What can I do to have a baby? Should I exercise more? Eat some miracle herbal concoction? (We didn't.)

After that, waves of guilt and condemnation hit us. Was it something we did? Was it something we didn't do? Was it because we waited too long? Then fear came in. Is there something wrong with my body? Should we have a medical checkup?

It was all very draining and I was beginning to lose faith. I was on the fast track to rejecting all that I believed in. 

That's why I'm so grateful that I am sitting under Pastor Joseph Prince's ministry because he constantly reminds us of God's goodness and mercy. The verses that lifted me up during this time are: 

Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

Isaiah 53: 4-5 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

I thank God that I am well fed and shepherded in New Creation Church during this period of my life because the truth of His word has given me life and hope. This period of waiting and trusting in His plans for me is quite possibly one of the hardest times of my life. Yet, it is also a time where I drew closer to Jesus and  my husband. Our marriage became stronger, our love intensified and our perspective on life changed radically.

I know that Jesus is on this journey with us and He has promised that He will never leave us nor forsake us. He has comforted me and loved me during my time of weakness and doubt and He has shown me that no matter what, I have the best thing in this life: a relationship with the Living God.  

Deuteronomy 31:8 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

The Loft Sessions (Bethel Music)

For a while now I've been really obsessed with Bethel Music!! As a birthday gift, my boss gave me their latest CD, The Loft Sessions, and since then I've been a serious fan! A great worship album!
                                                                      
                                                                  Come to Me



                                                                 
                                                                You Know Me



                                                           Walk in the Promise



                                                         One Thing Remains

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Pastor Steven Furtick


When my husband & I saw all the excitement that Pastor Steven Furtick has caused at Hillsong Conference 2012, we decided to check him out online.

AND HE IS SUPER AWESOMELY ANOINTED!


Ever since that day, we've just been CRAAAAAZZZYYY about this guy! Every night for the past 2 weeks, we watch at least one of his sermons online (except for last night which was movie night & we watched In Darkness which warrants another post). 


Check out his website where you can watch ALL his sermons FREE (and in HD). I must say I'm soooo glad that he chose not to charge them and it's not because I'm cheap but because I know most Pastors rely on the sale of their sermons to supplement their income (which I fully support because Pastors get too much flack for getting a salary from church, especially Pastors from big churches).

Go to www.stevenfurtick.com

Some of my favourites are:
Killswitch: The Cross was the Killswitch
Waiting Room: What are you waiting for? Get your own goat! 
Grey Matter: The Taurus & the Fox


I've also been reading his wife's Holly Furtick's blog which gives me an insight into his family, the sacrifices he made to follow God and a little bit about fashion, recipes & life in Charlotte, North Carolina.

I'm so excited about the young Christian leaders that God is raising up in these last days!